First month

Dear Letta,

your newborn days are running away from us
faster than I thought.
To others, you may still seem little and new.
But I already notice your stare changing,
Your neck gaining independence from my steady hand,
the way you sleep and wake more confident of your new home,
and of course, your many new rolls of soft, perfect baby chubs.

but you are still my newborn-
your soft coos,
delicious milky breath,
sleepy, dreamy eyes almost always,
my baby baby.

before you came,
i loved waking up next to papa-
watching him sleep and dream.
now i get to wake up next to both of you,
oh what bliss!
my two most beloved ones,
sleeping so close to me.

i used to wake in the night
and feel you kicking and moving inside me.
now, you are wiggling next to me on the outside.
sometimes you laugh in your sleep
and i try to imagine what you find funny.
"they" say it's just muscle reflex or gas.
oh no, no.
i think you are dreaming and laughing!
(maybe about the time i accidentally squirted breastmilk in your face
or when you pooped on me because i thought i could feed you without a diaper on.)

you are a hungry little eater.
mama is so happy you feed so well!
at first, I was a little confused and papa and I kept asking,
"she couldn't be hungry, could she? she just ate..."
but after a little while, we stopped wondering and just knew.
you eat just about every hour, unless you are sound asleep.
this gives mama lots of time to snuggle close to you
and cuddle your face and relax while the world carries on.
our sacred feedings.

not only do you love to eat,
you like to suck.
at birth, you had a tiny little lip callous 
so you must have started sucking before we ever met.
at three weeks old, you found your thumb in your sleep.
suckle suckle, suckle suckle.

only dreaming about how much more you'll grow....

love
mama