you, me & baby

Nesting. mmmmm. I love the sound of it, the feel of it, the smell of it.
Sounds like crispy twigs being brought to and fro from the beak of a mother bird,
feels like a soft, clean heirloom blanket placed in bassinet,
the smell of the old and new joining together for something special.

Mentally, I've been nesting for my little one since early second trimester.
Physically.... not so much.
I could write a very very long lists of why's and this and that came up and other such excuses
but I will spare you.

Slightly more than a month till She arrives...
enter: emergency nesting mode

Yes, I had good intentions to work for a few solid hours.
Why am I sitting down to write now?

It all started with a bundle of letters.
I innocently dumped a package of letters on the floor to declutter and organize.
Said letters were all from my time away in New Zealand, from so many loved ones.
Thank you for writing to me, you may not realize how much it meant to me.
sifting through, tossing, keeping, tossing, keeping on and on
till... a white unmarked envelope
inside, several letters
love letters

pregnant me spent the next hour sobbing on the closet floor
and i mean, sobbing. streams of snot and all.
reading love letter after love letter
from Him.

and I am amazed
truly, deeply u n d o n e
by the gift,
the favor,
the miracle I have been given.

I, so undeserved, somehow chosen
to breathe, know, love, create with
this man I call Husband

at the time the letters were written, we had only dreams,
wonderings and vignettes
of what 'us' would look like

now, it's everyday.
i live it

somedays, I feel a little half empty
"what did we do today?
did we talk about anything??
another movie?
what are we doing....?"

but, today, I read and I know.

Every dream, every notion,
every thought of what this would be like-

it could never add up to even the emptiest of days.

is a m i r a c l e

i love you micah