a letter to self

Four days after Letta's birth,

I found an envelope that had been delivered a few days earlier.

It was marked "International Par Avion Air" from New Zealand.

I sat and started to open it, wondering what it could be.

maybe a graduation announcement from the Crossing?

or an update letter?

but the moment I opened it, my heart felt a little heavy.

i could see the notebook paper, neatly folded.

i could see my own handwriting

why does it have my handwriting??

then i remembered.

then i wept. and read. and wept.

exactly one year before the day my baby girl was born, i wrote myself a letter.

i sealed it in an envelope and gave it to my director in NZ.

"I'll send it to you sometime.

when i feel it's time" he said.

i forgot about it.

one year later... 

i see, in my own handwriting, her birthday.

and words i needed to read.

May 25, 2011

 

dear katrina,

....remember not to forget...
He is all. He is in you.
He is faithful. (though you are not)
Lean on Him, give into Him.
Die to yourself (He has crucified your flesh)
every moment.

Behold! the new has come.

you have been blessed beyond measure by the Giver of all good things.
He is faithful and His blessings are to bring Him glory.
He has chosen you to bring Him glory... do it! always!

Give Him your time. Spend time with Him and in His word.
He wants to change you, so yield. Yield.
Don't worry, it's not too late.

This life is not about you, so relax.
Let. Christ. Live.
live in me, Jesus.
(let Him conquer you over & over)

Keep focus. He is all. Christ our life.
stop everything for Him.
let Him live.
listen to His voice in His word.

He will never leave. He never forsakes.

-Katrina