First Trimester

your papa and i sat on the bedroom floor, pregnancy test upside down till the three minutes had passed. mama was full of butterflies, and then full of smiles when she turned it over...
"you knew..." papa says, smiling that smile of his.
yes, mama knew. papa knew too.
we prayed for you little one. and you came.

we told your grandmas and grandpas by putting a sesame seed in a bowl for dessert.
"this is the size of your grandchild"
you were so little then.

for the first few weeks, you woke mama up early each morning for a snack.
"please, mama, another blueberry bar!"
you were very sweet though and always asked kindly and it didn't last too long.
then you moved onto ketchup... on anything.
your aunty cass bought us a big bag of ketchup chips from Canada. you ate those up quick!

at eleven weeks, we hear your lovely heart beating for the first time.
gentle like breath on a cold morning,
but fierce like tiny horses galloping wildly.

in november, mama starts to show-
you must be growing well, my darling.
in fact, your growing inside of me is so lovely and mysterious-
mama will easily start crying these days.
poor papa found mama crying on the floor in the closet with a bowl of cereal.
"are you okay?" asks papa
"i choked on a bit of cereal" says mama

a few days before Christmas, mama feels you moving and swimming around!
what a gift! i love you my sweet. you and papa are the greatest christmas gift.
i couldn't ask for more.

love
mama